first i hope everyone had an absolutely lovely christmas holiday with lots of food and family and laughing and of course wine.
this was my first christmas as a "wife" and sorta kinda a "mom" (chaz..the dog) my husband and i weren't in a position to travel this year for christmas, what with us moving next month and trying to afford it and a place for the dog and blah blah blah...so our solution was to have a "skype" christmas with his family in IL. if you don't know what skype is, it's a webcam service that let's you communicate via webcam with people wherever they might be. it was pretty cool. the next best thing to actually being there. we had a great time, we took turns opening gifts and telling stories. it was a great way to spend the holiday.
more news on the homefront...it's official we ARE going to greece. we got the orders on the 23rd. we leave the shithole that is VA sometime next month, probably around the end of it. then we'll spend four months in IL, him in Chicago(during the week) and me in southern with his family. we'll do weekenders between and maybe some in Indi, that's where his sister lives. and we get to have our big reception in may before we leave. YAY!! then at the end of june we'll hop a verrrry long flight to greece and be there for atleast two years. S-T-O-K-E-D is the only way to describe it.
well that's all for now, i need to wander to look productive.
kristy J
Friday, December 26, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
All Bitching Aside, I Really Am Very Happy!
I feel, although this is my blog and I can bitch if I want to, I have been bitching entirely too much. I think it might be stress and the control freak in me not being in control of my situation but anyway I think I should do a happy post. I do have a ton of things in my life that make me happy and even more things that I am joyously thankful for. Also the things day to day that make laugh, and seeing as how it’s Sunday and I am at work, I need a pick me up so here we go:
1) My husband is super awesome. We have a blast together, not even really doing anything. We can sit around and laugh and joke and it’s the best time ever. We’re about to travel all the way to Greece together and I could not be happier that he is the person I am going with. It’s me and him all the way. He does sweet romantic things just for no reason. He puts up with the whole bag o crazy that is me and enjoys it all, always telling me how much he loves me. He does this voice, it's suposed to be me when I have my over the top moments, it's way high pitched and overly dramatic and probably the funniest thing I have ever heard(it has diffused a lot of "arguments"). And above all he knows when in doubt just get me some wine and I'll be fine :-)
2) Chaz Michael Michaels…the sweetest fluffiest goofiest drooliest dog ever! He’s so wonderful. He’s giant and knocks me over from time to time but only out of excitement to see me. He always knows how to cheer me up if I’m down about something. If I cry he makes sure to lick the tears away and in the process soak my face. His love of sticks is something to be admired, to find so much joy in something so simple is a quality we should all posses. He’s probably a little on the dramatic side but it makes for laughs between my husband and I. (Chaz and husband are both awesome but husband gets mad when I pet him or try to rub his belly )
3) My big giant wonderful family (in laws). At any given time there are always at least 15 people who want to talk and joke and laugh and tell stories and wondering how the hell you’re doing. The most accepting and loving people you could ever hope to meet.
4) The fact that I am getting out of shithole VA one way or another. We’re either jumping a plane to Greece or we’re going down to Florida to see how this business venture pans out.
5) My friends…there are few but they are great. They stick with me through all the craziness and drunken adventures.
6) The blogs I read(don’t judge me)…they are entertaining and funny and in some weird way insight into how to deal with situations that I have no experience in. The women who write those blogs seem like very smart strong women and that’s something I didn’t see a lot of growing up.
I know there’s more but there’s a furnace with a leak that’s calling my name(not really, the fatty who is here today is barking order in which I must oblige)
Kristy J
1) My husband is super awesome. We have a blast together, not even really doing anything. We can sit around and laugh and joke and it’s the best time ever. We’re about to travel all the way to Greece together and I could not be happier that he is the person I am going with. It’s me and him all the way. He does sweet romantic things just for no reason. He puts up with the whole bag o crazy that is me and enjoys it all, always telling me how much he loves me. He does this voice, it's suposed to be me when I have my over the top moments, it's way high pitched and overly dramatic and probably the funniest thing I have ever heard(it has diffused a lot of "arguments"). And above all he knows when in doubt just get me some wine and I'll be fine :-)
2) Chaz Michael Michaels…the sweetest fluffiest goofiest drooliest dog ever! He’s so wonderful. He’s giant and knocks me over from time to time but only out of excitement to see me. He always knows how to cheer me up if I’m down about something. If I cry he makes sure to lick the tears away and in the process soak my face. His love of sticks is something to be admired, to find so much joy in something so simple is a quality we should all posses. He’s probably a little on the dramatic side but it makes for laughs between my husband and I. (Chaz and husband are both awesome but husband gets mad when I pet him or try to rub his belly )
3) My big giant wonderful family (in laws). At any given time there are always at least 15 people who want to talk and joke and laugh and tell stories and wondering how the hell you’re doing. The most accepting and loving people you could ever hope to meet.
4) The fact that I am getting out of shithole VA one way or another. We’re either jumping a plane to Greece or we’re going down to Florida to see how this business venture pans out.
5) My friends…there are few but they are great. They stick with me through all the craziness and drunken adventures.
6) The blogs I read(don’t judge me)…they are entertaining and funny and in some weird way insight into how to deal with situations that I have no experience in. The women who write those blogs seem like very smart strong women and that’s something I didn’t see a lot of growing up.
I know there’s more but there’s a furnace with a leak that’s calling my name(not really, the fatty who is here today is barking order in which I must oblige)
Kristy J
Friday, December 12, 2008
Just Crush My Hopes and Dreams USN
so a few blog posts ago i made mention that my husband got orders to greece and how incredibly excited i was and blah blah blah...well the orders were supposedly "written" and we were just waiting for them to "post" so then we would have our hard copy, i could quit my shitty job that i LOATHE, we could pack, and all would be right with my perfect little world.
well it's a MONTH and a HALF later and still no posted hard copy orders for my to put in my hand, husband spoke with the detailer a week ago and he said "yep they are written and should post in FOUR business days" this was december 2nd. so i've been hounding him everyday "did you call the detailer?" "did you talk to the detailer" "did your orders post" god love him he doesen't hit me. this afternoon when i spoke with husband i asked again "did you talk to the detailier" and instead of his normal response of no [insert lame reason here] he said "no, and today when i called and got his voicemail it says he's NO longer a detailer" **hangs head** "OH SHIT!!"
so now we have NO idea what's going on with these orders. apparently they aren't available anymore so that's a plus. another down side: if he doesn't get the orders soon then he's making the first leg of this deployment to spain and leaving me here all alone to PACK EVERYTHING and transition EVERYTHING to IL where we will be for a few months before greece. i WILL light someone on fire if this happens.
if we don't get the orders then who knows what's going to happen, i know that i don't want to stay at this job any longer than i have to.
and i am done for now.
kristy
well it's a MONTH and a HALF later and still no posted hard copy orders for my to put in my hand, husband spoke with the detailer a week ago and he said "yep they are written and should post in FOUR business days" this was december 2nd. so i've been hounding him everyday "did you call the detailer?" "did you talk to the detailer" "did your orders post" god love him he doesen't hit me. this afternoon when i spoke with husband i asked again "did you talk to the detailier" and instead of his normal response of no [insert lame reason here] he said "no, and today when i called and got his voicemail it says he's NO longer a detailer" **hangs head** "OH SHIT!!"
so now we have NO idea what's going on with these orders. apparently they aren't available anymore so that's a plus. another down side: if he doesn't get the orders soon then he's making the first leg of this deployment to spain and leaving me here all alone to PACK EVERYTHING and transition EVERYTHING to IL where we will be for a few months before greece. i WILL light someone on fire if this happens.
if we don't get the orders then who knows what's going to happen, i know that i don't want to stay at this job any longer than i have to.
and i am done for now.
kristy
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Things That Make Me Say 'Are YEW Serious?!"
so the past few days there has been a tremendous amount of shit (<--mostly work) happen that i have just stood there and squinted my eyes, cocked my head to one side, and with the most disdain possible in my voice said "are yew serious?!" and rather than rant and rave and make 546846 different blog entries i'll just make a list, i do luuuurve lists.
Ahem and on we go:
1)my schedule rotates, this week is my short week, love my short weeks, two 12 hour shifts then a gloorrrrrious three day weekend. i come in wednesday in a pretty good mood, made it through my drive without falling asleep, i'm informed there's a communication meeting in the auditorium. (usually these meetings are bullshit and it gives me a few extra minutes to prepare myself for the laziness of my coworkers or to giggle to myself that so many people don't own mirrors and if they do they are obviously not using them before they leave their house) as i'm walking to this meeting i'm hearing the whispers, the norm...bankruptcy, lay offs, new coffee shop, blah blah...i get into the meeting and we are abruptly informed that we as a company are broke, and in an effort to save our pathetic german ass everyone in support of 300 MM will be taking one mandatory UNPAID day off PER pay period for the next EIGHT pay period or SIXTEEN weeks. WTF?! it will only affect me for about 7 weeks but STILL! this is cutting my overtime, my 401K and my BONUS! "Are yew serious?!"
2) fast forward two hours, i'm checking my work email and deleting all the bullshit i get on a daily basis(people around here don't communicate face to face, they would rather fill up my inbox with emails from their blackberry) and i get the company newsletter, basically a worthless email that i delete, not this one this time though. i read it and got to one sentence that almost made me wet my pants, pause for a moment, here's the deal with this job i don't like it but it pays the bills so i can deal and i don't have to work here forever, just while my hubby is still stationed here, but to be at a job i hate that doesn't pay the bills, i'm not so much down with that or to lose it before i'm ready also not down with that, ok back to the story, the sentence in the email that almost made me wet my pants went something like this...if the company doesn't find an investor or stumble on a mountain of cash by the 14th of DECEMBER (<--as in ten days) liquidation will be necessary! "Are yew serious?!"
3) like i said before my schedule rotates on what is called a 5 and 2(one week i work five days mon, tues, fri, sat, sun, and the next week i work wed thurs) we have 4 shifts( 2 day shifts 2 night shifts) i recently got voluntold to switch the second day shift(was on the first day shift) the way the holidays fell this year was the first day shift(D1) had to work all the major holidays excluding new years(my FAVE) then when i switched to the second day shift(D2) i got those off excluding new years (BOO!) so when talking to my supervisor about switching i told him my concerns about having new years off bc on the other shift i wasn't going to have to use PTO and with coming to the new shift was i still going to be able to have it off, everyone else has had the opportunity to save the PTO up and i haven't blah blah blah. he said yes you should be fine no worries. so the first day he changed my status so i could apply for those days off, i did. there was already one person requesting both days off, his request was in waaaay before mine was, no biggie; APPROVED! so the supervisor approves new year's eve and then denies new years day!!! then come to find out approves it for some schmuck who put his request in almost A MONTH after i put mine in! "Are yew serious?!"
***UPDATE***i wrote the supe an email telling him that we already spoke of this situation and with all due respect i put my request in BEFORE the other guy and if he wouldn't give me vacation i'll take it without pay... he wrote me back telling me that i was right in recalling that we had ALREADY talked about it, and i was told i could have it off. so now i don't know what's going to happen. he'll either approve it or deny it and i'll take it without day.
4) i had a class this morning at 10am, i went down fifteen before hand, and when the class ended at 11am i went to lunch for an hour and 15, so i was gone from 945am to 1215ishpm, the agenda for today was two quarterly PMs, they take about an hour to an hour and a half to do. there were two OTHER people who are EXPERTS at these machines up here for that time period, so i was figuring cool i just finish up whatever is left and it will make for an easy afternoon...WRONG! i get up here after being gone for TWO and A HALF only to discover that NOT ONE DAMN THING has been done!!! "Are yew serious?!"
5) apparently around here it is customary that when you walk past someone's chair to grab the top of it, move it around and keep walking. this has happened somewhere between 45 times today. if it happens again i'm pretty sure i'm going to punch someone in the face. seriously stop touching my fuckin chair! (ohk not an are yew serious but along the same lines)
so now i'm done bitching for the moment and i need to go and complete these PMs that the experts couldn't handle.
i'm out
Ahem and on we go:
1)my schedule rotates, this week is my short week, love my short weeks, two 12 hour shifts then a gloorrrrrious three day weekend. i come in wednesday in a pretty good mood, made it through my drive without falling asleep, i'm informed there's a communication meeting in the auditorium. (usually these meetings are bullshit and it gives me a few extra minutes to prepare myself for the laziness of my coworkers or to giggle to myself that so many people don't own mirrors and if they do they are obviously not using them before they leave their house) as i'm walking to this meeting i'm hearing the whispers, the norm...bankruptcy, lay offs, new coffee shop, blah blah...i get into the meeting and we are abruptly informed that we as a company are broke, and in an effort to save our pathetic german ass everyone in support of 300 MM will be taking one mandatory UNPAID day off PER pay period for the next EIGHT pay period or SIXTEEN weeks. WTF?! it will only affect me for about 7 weeks but STILL! this is cutting my overtime, my 401K and my BONUS! "Are yew serious?!"
2) fast forward two hours, i'm checking my work email and deleting all the bullshit i get on a daily basis(people around here don't communicate face to face, they would rather fill up my inbox with emails from their blackberry) and i get the company newsletter, basically a worthless email that i delete, not this one this time though. i read it and got to one sentence that almost made me wet my pants, pause for a moment, here's the deal with this job i don't like it but it pays the bills so i can deal and i don't have to work here forever, just while my hubby is still stationed here, but to be at a job i hate that doesn't pay the bills, i'm not so much down with that or to lose it before i'm ready also not down with that, ok back to the story, the sentence in the email that almost made me wet my pants went something like this...if the company doesn't find an investor or stumble on a mountain of cash by the 14th of DECEMBER (<--as in ten days) liquidation will be necessary! "Are yew serious?!"
3) like i said before my schedule rotates on what is called a 5 and 2(one week i work five days mon, tues, fri, sat, sun, and the next week i work wed thurs) we have 4 shifts( 2 day shifts 2 night shifts) i recently got voluntold to switch the second day shift(was on the first day shift) the way the holidays fell this year was the first day shift(D1) had to work all the major holidays excluding new years(my FAVE) then when i switched to the second day shift(D2) i got those off excluding new years (BOO!) so when talking to my supervisor about switching i told him my concerns about having new years off bc on the other shift i wasn't going to have to use PTO and with coming to the new shift was i still going to be able to have it off, everyone else has had the opportunity to save the PTO up and i haven't blah blah blah. he said yes you should be fine no worries. so the first day he changed my status so i could apply for those days off, i did. there was already one person requesting both days off, his request was in waaaay before mine was, no biggie; APPROVED! so the supervisor approves new year's eve and then denies new years day!!! then come to find out approves it for some schmuck who put his request in almost A MONTH after i put mine in! "Are yew serious?!"
***UPDATE***i wrote the supe an email telling him that we already spoke of this situation and with all due respect i put my request in BEFORE the other guy and if he wouldn't give me vacation i'll take it without pay... he wrote me back telling me that i was right in recalling that we had ALREADY talked about it, and i was told i could have it off. so now i don't know what's going to happen. he'll either approve it or deny it and i'll take it without day.
4) i had a class this morning at 10am, i went down fifteen before hand, and when the class ended at 11am i went to lunch for an hour and 15, so i was gone from 945am to 1215ishpm, the agenda for today was two quarterly PMs, they take about an hour to an hour and a half to do. there were two OTHER people who are EXPERTS at these machines up here for that time period, so i was figuring cool i just finish up whatever is left and it will make for an easy afternoon...WRONG! i get up here after being gone for TWO and A HALF only to discover that NOT ONE DAMN THING has been done!!! "Are yew serious?!"
5) apparently around here it is customary that when you walk past someone's chair to grab the top of it, move it around and keep walking. this has happened somewhere between 45 times today. if it happens again i'm pretty sure i'm going to punch someone in the face. seriously stop touching my fuckin chair! (ohk not an are yew serious but along the same lines)
so now i'm done bitching for the moment and i need to go and complete these PMs that the experts couldn't handle.
i'm out
Sunday, November 30, 2008
I hate you BCS!!!
so the BCS rankings were announced today...it just happens to include which team was going to the Big 12 Championship Game on saturday and judging by the title of this post it did not work out in my favor. i'm trying to be a mature adult and blame it on the jacked up-ness structure of the BCS rather than throwing myself on the ground and kicking and screaming that "IT'S NOT FAIIIIRRRRRRR!!!!!!!" but seeing as how i am still at work for another hour and a half i'll probably just stick to the first option.
seriously though OU and UT both deserved to go, they are both powerhouse teams with amazing programs but it just came down to poilitcs, money, and technicalities...BOO!
there's still a chance for my longhorn boys...missouri needs to stomp the hell out of OU on saturday. i haven't been paying much attention to them other than when texas was pounding them in to the white painted lines on the football field but anything's possible...right?
well that's all for today...just a quick rant.
hope thanksgiving went well for everyone. (<--i did in fact get my deep friend turkey YEEEAIE!!)
cheers!
kristy j
seriously though OU and UT both deserved to go, they are both powerhouse teams with amazing programs but it just came down to poilitcs, money, and technicalities...BOO!
there's still a chance for my longhorn boys...missouri needs to stomp the hell out of OU on saturday. i haven't been paying much attention to them other than when texas was pounding them in to the white painted lines on the football field but anything's possible...right?
well that's all for today...just a quick rant.
hope thanksgiving went well for everyone. (<--i did in fact get my deep friend turkey YEEEAIE!!)
cheers!
kristy j
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
All I want for Thanksgiving is a Deep Fried Turkey
i really was not under the impression that it was such an outrageous demand to want deep fried turkey. i live in VA which depending on who you ask is considered the south, i have NEVER considered this crappy piece of land the south but i digress, i am from the south and wherever you go where i'm from and say deep fried turkey people will just come out of the woodwork and tell you the best place to get it. anyway back to my original complaint...i can't find a place that makes deep fried turkey ANYWHERE within a 65 mile radius(that is how far i will go to get one, no further) these people on the phone really think i'm some kind of redneck reject, the disgust in their voice as they tell me "no we don't make those here...maaaaam" then they hang up. i wonder how many of them have heard me yelling strings of cuss words as i pull the phone from my face? there is something wrong with these so called southerners and thei yankee ways! deep friend turkey is a part of life in the south, it's a necessity at a thanksgiving dinner or any big family get together for that matter. all i want is some deep fried turkey!!!!! and it doesn't look like it's going to happen. boo on you Viriginia!!!!!
if you ever get the chance to move here or visit...just pass! go somewhere else...this place is a shithole...the whole damn state just completely 100% sucks the big one!
i'm done
kristy j
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!
if you ever get the chance to move here or visit...just pass! go somewhere else...this place is a shithole...the whole damn state just completely 100% sucks the big one!
i'm done
kristy j
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!
Monday, November 24, 2008
North Carolina and Martini Mishaps
so this weekend i went to see one of my bestests and her hubby and new baby in NC. it was a faaaabulous weekend complete with plenty of wine, great food, "Friends", and me ruining my laptop with a very dirty martini.
i took loads of pictures and now i have nowhere to upload them too and worst of all the only place i can get on the internet is at work and there are only certain sites and graphics that come up i.e. no blog pictures EVER!
i wanted to come home and blog about how wonderful my weekend was but now i'm completely nervously worried that my laptop is ruined so bad that i can't get anything off of it. it's not like i lost college work or real work for that matter it's the pictures...oh the pictures! i am a picture FAAANATIC! i take pictures everywhere i go, of everyone i meet, of everything i do and then i get home and upload them onto my computer and make albums and scrap books and print them to be framed...and now i might have lost allllllll of them from the last THREE AND A HALF YEARS!!! it's basically like losing my early twenties (i'm twenty four) a lot happened in those three years though:
my deployment from in the navy; my first apartment; my twenty first birthday; my friend's twenty first birthday; all of my trips to boston, DC, georgia, maine, IL; meeting my husband; meeting my husband's family; basically a photo journal of my dog(i don't have kids); my WEDDING!!!!!!! there is so much more but the point has been made
and now i'm facing the harsh reality that it all might be lost... i know i should i have put it on an external hard drive or backed things up or something but i wasn't thinking about that. i'm always SO damn careful with that laptop and then i went and ruined it. BOOOOO on ME!!
i hope either my husband or some savvy computer person can atleast get the pictures off of there for me. i can always buy a new laptop but i sure as hell can't go back three years and get those pictures. (yes i realize this is basically me whining and bitching but whatever it's my blog and i can do that on here)
moving on, i really did have an absolutely amazing weekend! the first night i got there we immediately started sampling different wines that she had there(it was like 1:30pm when i got there and the baby was napping) and she made these tuna cream cheese roll thingies that were simply amazing! we sat around and chit chatted and she showed me her new house and showed me all the things she wanted to do to it. absolutely beautiful house!! after the baby woke up we played with him for a bit, then his daddy took him to get a flu shot. next was dinner, best ribeye steaks EVER! i have no idea what he did but they were yuuuuu-uuum!! after dinner it was time for Friends Scene It Trivia DVD Game! and i'm simply the best at that game! i totally kicked their asses! after the game, was when we broke out the vodka and olive juice for dirty martinis. after a few of these i got careless with my orangutan arms and knocked over the last little bit into my laptop. some blue screen with white letters came up and said something along the lines of "i'm now going to ruin your life, you drunk bitch" and then i flipped out(drunk) and called my husband begging and pleading with him to just fix it pleeeease! at this moment i was far to drunk to realize the intensity of my screw up. he told me to turn it off and calm down, and that's what i did. we continued on drinking martinis and laaaaaaughing at everything. we ended the night early.
saturday started off bright and early,by that i mean sunny and far to bright for someone who spent her evening chugging vodka, also me with the worst headache that i have ever had! it was awful, i woke up and felt fine. i stood up and it was like my brain SLAMMED into my forehead at about 874 MPH. it was so painful i was actually crying as i walked to the bottle of motrin downstairs. thinking back now i usually don't sit down with a bottle of vodka and just go to town. the rest of the day we spent watching football and eating nachos, and quietly preparing ourselves for the drinking that would ensue later on in the evening. the evening began with a tapas dinner set in this super awesome arabian restaraunt. (had we stayed later we would have enjoyed the belly dancers complete with their own band) the food was alright, the first time i ever lamb chops, they were De-Lish!! and it just happened to be a speciatly martini bar! i stayed clear of just straight vodka and enjoyed a few fruity martinis, complete with GLOWSTICKS! i was truly in drunk girl heaven. after dinner we headed down town for some good ole fashioned bar hopping. the first place we went was an oyster bar for drunk singles over the age of 45, definitely not our scene so after a drink and some oysters(<--BLEHK!) off we went. the next place was supposed to be an irish bar...this just happened to be an irish bar with an 80s hair band cover band...it was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!! i thought, but my friends not so much...after three beers and two shots off we went. we ended up at ...guess?...a MARTINI BAR!!! so once more we drowned the rest of our giggles out with the slurping of some very delicious and wonderfully colored martinis. it was getting late so we decided to head out but not before buying $6 hot dogs from a street vendor! but i will say they were by far the GREATEST hot dogs ever made, or it could have just been the fifth of vodka coursing through my blood stream, eh who knows?!
the next morning i got up early and headed home to spend some quality time with my new husband. we went on a date and it was wonderful. mimosas and a crab martini(<--noticing a pattern) then a very funny movie(role models, seriously go watch it, it's awesome!!) after the movie we headed home and took a walk in the freezing cold with our dog. it was sweet. then bc we're super lame we went to bed at 9:20pm.
all in all(minus the laptop) it was an absolutely divine weekend!
alright i'm done
kristy j
i took loads of pictures and now i have nowhere to upload them too and worst of all the only place i can get on the internet is at work and there are only certain sites and graphics that come up i.e. no blog pictures EVER!
i wanted to come home and blog about how wonderful my weekend was but now i'm completely nervously worried that my laptop is ruined so bad that i can't get anything off of it. it's not like i lost college work or real work for that matter it's the pictures...oh the pictures! i am a picture FAAANATIC! i take pictures everywhere i go, of everyone i meet, of everything i do and then i get home and upload them onto my computer and make albums and scrap books and print them to be framed...and now i might have lost allllllll of them from the last THREE AND A HALF YEARS!!! it's basically like losing my early twenties (i'm twenty four) a lot happened in those three years though:
my deployment from in the navy; my first apartment; my twenty first birthday; my friend's twenty first birthday; all of my trips to boston, DC, georgia, maine, IL; meeting my husband; meeting my husband's family; basically a photo journal of my dog(i don't have kids); my WEDDING!!!!!!! there is so much more but the point has been made
and now i'm facing the harsh reality that it all might be lost... i know i should i have put it on an external hard drive or backed things up or something but i wasn't thinking about that. i'm always SO damn careful with that laptop and then i went and ruined it. BOOOOO on ME!!
i hope either my husband or some savvy computer person can atleast get the pictures off of there for me. i can always buy a new laptop but i sure as hell can't go back three years and get those pictures. (yes i realize this is basically me whining and bitching but whatever it's my blog and i can do that on here)
moving on, i really did have an absolutely amazing weekend! the first night i got there we immediately started sampling different wines that she had there(it was like 1:30pm when i got there and the baby was napping) and she made these tuna cream cheese roll thingies that were simply amazing! we sat around and chit chatted and she showed me her new house and showed me all the things she wanted to do to it. absolutely beautiful house!! after the baby woke up we played with him for a bit, then his daddy took him to get a flu shot. next was dinner, best ribeye steaks EVER! i have no idea what he did but they were yuuuuu-uuum!! after dinner it was time for Friends Scene It Trivia DVD Game! and i'm simply the best at that game! i totally kicked their asses! after the game, was when we broke out the vodka and olive juice for dirty martinis. after a few of these i got careless with my orangutan arms and knocked over the last little bit into my laptop. some blue screen with white letters came up and said something along the lines of "i'm now going to ruin your life, you drunk bitch" and then i flipped out(drunk) and called my husband begging and pleading with him to just fix it pleeeease! at this moment i was far to drunk to realize the intensity of my screw up. he told me to turn it off and calm down, and that's what i did. we continued on drinking martinis and laaaaaaughing at everything. we ended the night early.
saturday started off bright and early,by that i mean sunny and far to bright for someone who spent her evening chugging vodka, also me with the worst headache that i have ever had! it was awful, i woke up and felt fine. i stood up and it was like my brain SLAMMED into my forehead at about 874 MPH. it was so painful i was actually crying as i walked to the bottle of motrin downstairs. thinking back now i usually don't sit down with a bottle of vodka and just go to town. the rest of the day we spent watching football and eating nachos, and quietly preparing ourselves for the drinking that would ensue later on in the evening. the evening began with a tapas dinner set in this super awesome arabian restaraunt. (had we stayed later we would have enjoyed the belly dancers complete with their own band) the food was alright, the first time i ever lamb chops, they were De-Lish!! and it just happened to be a speciatly martini bar! i stayed clear of just straight vodka and enjoyed a few fruity martinis, complete with GLOWSTICKS! i was truly in drunk girl heaven. after dinner we headed down town for some good ole fashioned bar hopping. the first place we went was an oyster bar for drunk singles over the age of 45, definitely not our scene so after a drink and some oysters(<--BLEHK!) off we went. the next place was supposed to be an irish bar...this just happened to be an irish bar with an 80s hair band cover band...it was A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!! i thought, but my friends not so much...after three beers and two shots off we went. we ended up at ...guess?...a MARTINI BAR!!! so once more we drowned the rest of our giggles out with the slurping of some very delicious and wonderfully colored martinis. it was getting late so we decided to head out but not before buying $6 hot dogs from a street vendor! but i will say they were by far the GREATEST hot dogs ever made, or it could have just been the fifth of vodka coursing through my blood stream, eh who knows?!
the next morning i got up early and headed home to spend some quality time with my new husband. we went on a date and it was wonderful. mimosas and a crab martini(<--noticing a pattern) then a very funny movie(role models, seriously go watch it, it's awesome!!) after the movie we headed home and took a walk in the freezing cold with our dog. it was sweet. then bc we're super lame we went to bed at 9:20pm.
all in all(minus the laptop) it was an absolutely divine weekend!
alright i'm done
kristy j
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Blogger...You are on Notice!
oh how i do adore this website, it allows me to blog about things i deem important or entertaining, i also allowed me to discover the wonderful world of blogging without the added hassle of paying for a domain name BUT then this lovely website decided to be a pain in my ass...
Strike 1-when i tried to change the template for the blog it wouldn't work and froze up. this happened several times, eventually i gave up and just picked a different template(of course after screaming strings of profanities loud enough for my poor dog to run and hide under the table...sorry chaz)
Strike 2- i wanted to do some random surfing and check out new and interesting blogs that weren't tied up in the little blog world in which i drown myself in on a daily basis, so i hit "next blog" button about 78,596 times and to my dismay only 6 were in english and the rest were in different languages and so much HTML it just looked like a damn jumbled mess OR were advertising something i didn't care about. boo!
Strike 3- every single picture i find to put behind my title, blogger finds something wrong with the code and won't let me put it there. i just want a little individuality in my blog but apparently blogger says "fuck you kristy J!" and i repeat said actions in strike 1.
so here i sit aggitated at blogger, no new blogs to read, and i'm at work and it's SATURDAY! i'm missing football and NO NEW BLOGS TO READ! i'm dying over here.
and to make matters worse my trainer ate garlic this morning OH THE HUMANITY!!!!
i'm done
peace out
Strike 1-when i tried to change the template for the blog it wouldn't work and froze up. this happened several times, eventually i gave up and just picked a different template(of course after screaming strings of profanities loud enough for my poor dog to run and hide under the table...sorry chaz)
Strike 2- i wanted to do some random surfing and check out new and interesting blogs that weren't tied up in the little blog world in which i drown myself in on a daily basis, so i hit "next blog" button about 78,596 times and to my dismay only 6 were in english and the rest were in different languages and so much HTML it just looked like a damn jumbled mess OR were advertising something i didn't care about. boo!
Strike 3- every single picture i find to put behind my title, blogger finds something wrong with the code and won't let me put it there. i just want a little individuality in my blog but apparently blogger says "fuck you kristy J!" and i repeat said actions in strike 1.
so here i sit aggitated at blogger, no new blogs to read, and i'm at work and it's SATURDAY! i'm missing football and NO NEW BLOGS TO READ! i'm dying over here.
and to make matters worse my trainer ate garlic this morning OH THE HUMANITY!!!!
i'm done
peace out
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
DVR will be the end of me
don't get me wrong i love my DVR but i've gotten SO used to just DVRing everything i want to watch that i don't think about the fact that my DVR and the cable networks are not conversing to make sure i'm getting all of the shows in their entirety i want to watch. take for instance my addiction to cold case...well for some reason CBS is trying to make me crazy and not airing it at the time my guide tells me it is, instead i end up with the first half of the amazing race(really who give a shit about that show, i know i don't!) and the last half of cold case and yes the last half is the best part but i would like to see the first part too!! i'm so spoiled by my DVR that i just can't snap back into reality and realize the cable networks are not revolving around me and my preference of shows i want to watch. if i thought for one minute it would make a difference i would write to tell CBS to stop fucking with me and my beloved DVR but alas it would just fall into the black whole that is the complaint department and i would still be angry and missing the first half of cold case. BOO!
so i guess i'll just go back to finishing my wine and bitching on my blog about CBS and my DVR spoiling me.
later kids
so i guess i'll just go back to finishing my wine and bitching on my blog about CBS and my DVR spoiling me.
later kids
Monday, November 10, 2008
When Bad Breath Attacks
So there is lovely man that I work with, he’s in his late 50s, super nice man, old as dirt but still nice. He’s my trainer for the time being
(I just switched shifts for “training” purposes, meaning some dumb bitch on the other shift didn’t like me and went tattled to her manager husband about me, oh did I mention she’s in her FIFTIES!!!!!, but that’s a story for another time, back on track…new shift, so I’m pretty sure that my boss told my new coworkers that I am retarded and need “special” attention)
back to my story…this lovely old man takes into account that he thinks I’m retarded and makes sure to explain every single task in minute detail to me, normally I wouldn’t mind and I would just go with it, but he has the most VILE disgusting breath I’ve ever smelled and to make matters worse he’s a CLOSE talker. I work in what’s called a clean room so if there is any sort of smell or odor it’s way more noticeable and his breath is so bad that I completely cannot pay attention to anything he's saying bc I'm trying to plan my escape route. At first I just thought it was morning breath…NOPE it’s ALL DAY BREATH! I’m pretty sure if I shoved straight shit into my nose it would probably have a more appealing smell than this man’s breath. I don’t want to be mean to him but there’s only so much breath holding and avoiding a person could do. I thought of just not breathing through my nose and only through my mouth(you know mouth breathers are in this season) but then the mask goes into my mouth and that’s just yucky….so I’m back to square one which consists of me running away or just pinging him on his Nextel. I can’t even offer him gum or candy bc we work in a clean room and it’s against the rules.
Well this was my rant for the day!
(I just switched shifts for “training” purposes, meaning some dumb bitch on the other shift didn’t like me and went tattled to her manager husband about me, oh did I mention she’s in her FIFTIES!!!!!, but that’s a story for another time, back on track…new shift, so I’m pretty sure that my boss told my new coworkers that I am retarded and need “special” attention)
back to my story…this lovely old man takes into account that he thinks I’m retarded and makes sure to explain every single task in minute detail to me, normally I wouldn’t mind and I would just go with it, but he has the most VILE disgusting breath I’ve ever smelled and to make matters worse he’s a CLOSE talker. I work in what’s called a clean room so if there is any sort of smell or odor it’s way more noticeable and his breath is so bad that I completely cannot pay attention to anything he's saying bc I'm trying to plan my escape route. At first I just thought it was morning breath…NOPE it’s ALL DAY BREATH! I’m pretty sure if I shoved straight shit into my nose it would probably have a more appealing smell than this man’s breath. I don’t want to be mean to him but there’s only so much breath holding and avoiding a person could do. I thought of just not breathing through my nose and only through my mouth(you know mouth breathers are in this season) but then the mask goes into my mouth and that’s just yucky….so I’m back to square one which consists of me running away or just pinging him on his Nextel. I can’t even offer him gum or candy bc we work in a clean room and it’s against the rules.
Well this was my rant for the day!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Marriage and Other Shit
so i'm still not very good at keeping up with this thing, i'll try and do better. so let's see what's new...here we'll do this in a list format, it might be easier to follow and easier for me to write seeing as how i've had a few glasses of wine. so away we go:
1--> i got married! YAY! two weeks ago. it was wonderful and beautiful and the happiest day of my life. that being said I AM SO EFFIN GLAD IT'S OVER!! i will pat myself on the back and say i wasn't a bridezilla. i had lots of help and it went smoothly. everyone looked beautiful. i have a great new big family and i am SO SO happy about being married. my hubby is great!
2-->i HAAAAAAAAAAATE my job!!!!!!!!!!!!! the job itself isn't bad but the people...oh myyy god the people...it's like highschool but with older uglier people who face you can't see(clean room suit) the shit talking and the dirty looks, i didn't even do anything to these poeple. WHATEVER! NEWS FLASH LOSERS the company is going BANKRUPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yah the stock closing today was $0.19 today. it's like they refuse to acknowledge that in less than four months they are going to be unemployed. they are a team of ignorant useless uptight assholes who for some reason think they are "cool" bc they spend all day making others feel like outsiders. this one girl did the whole finger wag head shake thing to me then the next day i bumped into her and then like the "mature" 29 year old she is, she PUSHED me! like we were on a playground or drunk in a bar. needless to say i spent most of my day yesterday in human resources droppin dimes like a muthafucka. i hate those people. i start my new shift tomorrow...the good thing about this shift...NO GIRLS! YAY! i don't get along with girls for some reason. i can't wait to quit this job. is that bad?
3--> the husband got orders to GREECE! we leave in february to go to chicago for four months while he attends school, then in june we leave for greece for two years! i'm SO fucking excited it's ridiculous. we bought the rosetta stone thingy so we can learn to speak greek before we get over there. should be pretty cool. i decided(bc i live in a fantasy world where money is no object) that we should live in a villa over looking the beach. i don't know if it's going to happen but i can dream. another really cool part i don't have to work while i'm over there he said i don't have to work i can just go to school full time. YEEEEOW! i'm stoked.
4-->i know other people are thinking this so i'm going to say err write it....CAN THIS ELECTION JUST BE THE FUCK OVERWITH ALREADY?!?!?!?!? JEEZ! i just want to listen to the radio and NOT hear 17 "i'm barac obama and i approve this message" or "i'm john mccain and i approve this message" AUH! i just want to punch babies...shit just play the songs i want to hear and get the hell over it. SHIT!
5-->my dog has a bruised trachea. he ate a rawhide and it got stuck in there and from all the coughing and gagging it bruised the hell out of his trachea, so much so that it damaged the cartilage in the trachea. poor baby. he gets to eat lots of ice cream, soft food, and enjoy lots of belly rubs.
alllllright well i think i'm done for now. i promise i will be better about writing in here.
peace bitches
1--> i got married! YAY! two weeks ago. it was wonderful and beautiful and the happiest day of my life. that being said I AM SO EFFIN GLAD IT'S OVER!! i will pat myself on the back and say i wasn't a bridezilla. i had lots of help and it went smoothly. everyone looked beautiful. i have a great new big family and i am SO SO happy about being married. my hubby is great!
2-->i HAAAAAAAAAAATE my job!!!!!!!!!!!!! the job itself isn't bad but the people...oh myyy god the people...it's like highschool but with older uglier people who face you can't see(clean room suit) the shit talking and the dirty looks, i didn't even do anything to these poeple. WHATEVER! NEWS FLASH LOSERS the company is going BANKRUPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yah the stock closing today was $0.19 today. it's like they refuse to acknowledge that in less than four months they are going to be unemployed. they are a team of ignorant useless uptight assholes who for some reason think they are "cool" bc they spend all day making others feel like outsiders. this one girl did the whole finger wag head shake thing to me then the next day i bumped into her and then like the "mature" 29 year old she is, she PUSHED me! like we were on a playground or drunk in a bar. needless to say i spent most of my day yesterday in human resources droppin dimes like a muthafucka. i hate those people. i start my new shift tomorrow...the good thing about this shift...NO GIRLS! YAY! i don't get along with girls for some reason. i can't wait to quit this job. is that bad?
3--> the husband got orders to GREECE! we leave in february to go to chicago for four months while he attends school, then in june we leave for greece for two years! i'm SO fucking excited it's ridiculous. we bought the rosetta stone thingy so we can learn to speak greek before we get over there. should be pretty cool. i decided(bc i live in a fantasy world where money is no object) that we should live in a villa over looking the beach. i don't know if it's going to happen but i can dream. another really cool part i don't have to work while i'm over there he said i don't have to work i can just go to school full time. YEEEEOW! i'm stoked.
4-->i know other people are thinking this so i'm going to say err write it....CAN THIS ELECTION JUST BE THE FUCK OVERWITH ALREADY?!?!?!?!? JEEZ! i just want to listen to the radio and NOT hear 17 "i'm barac obama and i approve this message" or "i'm john mccain and i approve this message" AUH! i just want to punch babies...shit just play the songs i want to hear and get the hell over it. SHIT!
5-->my dog has a bruised trachea. he ate a rawhide and it got stuck in there and from all the coughing and gagging it bruised the hell out of his trachea, so much so that it damaged the cartilage in the trachea. poor baby. he gets to eat lots of ice cream, soft food, and enjoy lots of belly rubs.
alllllright well i think i'm done for now. i promise i will be better about writing in here.
peace bitches
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I like to start things and not finish them...
so i've ignored this thing for like months or something...ooops my bad. the boy got home and i forgot everything i was doing before and enjoying all kinds of adventures with him. hmm so in other news...I GOT ENGAGED!!!! and we're getting married in like six weeks!! YAY! i know it's quick but it's good this way bc we're not sure what's going to be going on in the next year or so..like jobs or living arrangements...soooo we'll be getting married on the beach in october! i'm so excited. it's all coming together pretty smoothly. i think the only thing we have left to take care of is the dreaded trip to the court house and sift through the ignorance and bullshit to get the marriage license.
in other news...i've come to hate my job and the morons i work with. it's basically like working in a really cool technical scientific place with people who couldn't troubleshoot their way out of a wet paper bag. and me and my infinite wisdom signed a TWO YEAR CONTRACT otherwise i have to pay them back like 12 thousand dollars. JEEZ! WTF was i thinking? apparently i wasn't..good job me!
in other news...well yes i think that's it. not a whole lot...work drink and have adventures with my fiance. my dog is still giant...like a 100lbs now...he eats like a horse and it's definitely putting a dent in my bank account. he's cute and a super great dog.
alright it's time to cook dinner...i'll try and keep up with this thing more.
in other news...i've come to hate my job and the morons i work with. it's basically like working in a really cool technical scientific place with people who couldn't troubleshoot their way out of a wet paper bag. and me and my infinite wisdom signed a TWO YEAR CONTRACT otherwise i have to pay them back like 12 thousand dollars. JEEZ! WTF was i thinking? apparently i wasn't..good job me!
in other news...well yes i think that's it. not a whole lot...work drink and have adventures with my fiance. my dog is still giant...like a 100lbs now...he eats like a horse and it's definitely putting a dent in my bank account. he's cute and a super great dog.
alright it's time to cook dinner...i'll try and keep up with this thing more.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Just Mount Guns to the Top of the Car and I'll be Fine
I don't live in a big city like boston and NYC but I do happen to live in an area chock full of military…people from boston and NYC that didn't feel the need to get a driver's license until the age of 25 or so…making driving around here feel like being the only sane person in a mental institution.
I won't ever understand the point of putting your blinker on AFTER you've switched lanes and have already cut me off causing me to slam on my brakes and scream never ending string of cuss words.
Or riding my ass in the RIGHT lane flashing your lights and honking at me to get over. PASS ON THE LEFT!!!!!
My favorite is probably when someone is riding in my blind spot while I have my turn signal on…this in turn means I speed up to pass you then you get pissed at me for "cutting you off" and ride my ass while honking and flashing your lights. God that just makes my day!
Needless to say I have turned into an asshole driver(I'm still a GOOD driver which is important.) Probably not up to the asshole level of the big city drivers but definitely an asshole. If someone tries to pass me I speed up and maintain my spot in the lane. If on the off chance someone does pass me I make sure to return the gracious favor of laying on my horn and flashing my lights while riding their ass.
Driving around here makes me insane. It gets to the point where I don't want to drive. Soon I'll live somewhere that I won't have to drive…then I can bitch about public transportation and the way cab drivers drive.
Well that's all the bitching I can muster up for now. I'm sure there will be more.
Peace bitches
Kristy J
I won't ever understand the point of putting your blinker on AFTER you've switched lanes and have already cut me off causing me to slam on my brakes and scream never ending string of cuss words.
Or riding my ass in the RIGHT lane flashing your lights and honking at me to get over. PASS ON THE LEFT!!!!!
My favorite is probably when someone is riding in my blind spot while I have my turn signal on…this in turn means I speed up to pass you then you get pissed at me for "cutting you off" and ride my ass while honking and flashing your lights. God that just makes my day!
Needless to say I have turned into an asshole driver(I'm still a GOOD driver which is important.) Probably not up to the asshole level of the big city drivers but definitely an asshole. If someone tries to pass me I speed up and maintain my spot in the lane. If on the off chance someone does pass me I make sure to return the gracious favor of laying on my horn and flashing my lights while riding their ass.
Driving around here makes me insane. It gets to the point where I don't want to drive. Soon I'll live somewhere that I won't have to drive…then I can bitch about public transportation and the way cab drivers drive.
Well that's all the bitching I can muster up for now. I'm sure there will be more.
Peace bitches
Kristy J
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
i get hammered and make bad decisions...what's your hobby?!
my schedule at work is alternated so some weeks i have weekends off and other weeks i have wed/thurs off...in this particular story it was a wed/thurs combination. i decided to make the 60 mile journey to va beach to see the initiator and all of my other friends.
that wednesday started off normal...took care of a few things here and then went down there.she had and MRI so we took are of that and then decided it was time for dinner. we were celebrating(not sure what but we were) we went to P.F. Changs...i had never been there...we ordered and drank a few glasses of wine. after we finished the food, we decided to step outside for a smoke(we told the bartender to hold our seats) so we come back inside and our seats have been taken. we give the bartender a "WTF" kinda look...he seats us at the other end of the bar and apologizes and comes back with a large flask of saki. *i had never had saki before* we were excited and proceeded to shoot saki and chase it with wine(seemed like a good idea at the time) after the saki is gone i realize there is no way i can drive us back to her house to get ready to go out to the bar. her roommate has to come pick us up. at this point we are entirely too hammered and should have just called it a night...but obviously we didn't.
we went to this place called town center..it's like a fake downtown...bars, shops, places to eat...things of that nature. there are two bars we looooove to go to Gordon Birsch and Keagans. we started at GB had a few microbrews then stumbled next door to Keagans.
there was a singer there playing different kinds of music and taking requests. once i got my drink and made the rounds to say hi to everyone and take numerous drunk pictures i asked the guy to play "brown eyed girl" bc i LOOOOVE that song. i asked him and he said he would. the night moves on..more and more drinks...more and more pictures...more and more asking this guy to play this song. the night moves on the same as it has been...i'm behaving myself thus far.
now it's about 1am and he still hasn't played my song...so i bum rush the stage steal his microphone and proceed to rip this guy a new one until he promises to play this song. he does...my friend and i dance (read:stumble and fall down) after the completion of the dancing and singing i make my way to the bar for another beer(bc that's what i need at this point) and the bartender hands me three little glasses with pretty blue liquid in them and tells me "you're awesome these are on me" i squeal and pass them around and take my designated shot. DE-LIC-SHUS!!!! i have no idea what was in them but i do know that 15 minutes later is when everything goes blurry and then black.
so this is when my friends had to take over bc i have no idea what happened. we left obviously but i told them i was NOT getting in the truck with them bc they were just as drunk as me(in all reality NO ONE was as drunk as me) so then they bribed me and told me there was booze in the truck...i obliged and hauled ass to the truck for more beers. while in the truck on the way to my friends house we sang very loudly to some 80s song on the radio and i spilled some beer on my face,shirt, and skirt. i get home and my friend, the instigator, and i proceeded to sing karaoke until the wee hours of the morning before finally passing out around 6am.
the next day we woke up and decided to buy matching outfits for the beach, headed to target and started trying on clothes...we decided on matching green plaid pants, striped green bags, big green hats, green medalion necklaces, and green plaid flops. we looked "interesting"
we made our way to the beach but not before stopping to pick up a 24 pack of beer. the rest of the day was fun in the sun drinking beers and making fun of the anorexic "12" year old our friend brought to the beach in hopes of "hitting that"
good times.
and on a more sober note: my love comes home on friday! YAY!!!!!!
time to get back to work.
peace bitches
Kristy J
that wednesday started off normal...took care of a few things here and then went down there.she had and MRI so we took are of that and then decided it was time for dinner. we were celebrating(not sure what but we were) we went to P.F. Changs...i had never been there...we ordered and drank a few glasses of wine. after we finished the food, we decided to step outside for a smoke(we told the bartender to hold our seats) so we come back inside and our seats have been taken. we give the bartender a "WTF" kinda look...he seats us at the other end of the bar and apologizes and comes back with a large flask of saki. *i had never had saki before* we were excited and proceeded to shoot saki and chase it with wine(seemed like a good idea at the time) after the saki is gone i realize there is no way i can drive us back to her house to get ready to go out to the bar. her roommate has to come pick us up. at this point we are entirely too hammered and should have just called it a night...but obviously we didn't.
we went to this place called town center..it's like a fake downtown...bars, shops, places to eat...things of that nature. there are two bars we looooove to go to Gordon Birsch and Keagans. we started at GB had a few microbrews then stumbled next door to Keagans.
there was a singer there playing different kinds of music and taking requests. once i got my drink and made the rounds to say hi to everyone and take numerous drunk pictures i asked the guy to play "brown eyed girl" bc i LOOOOVE that song. i asked him and he said he would. the night moves on..more and more drinks...more and more pictures...more and more asking this guy to play this song. the night moves on the same as it has been...i'm behaving myself thus far.
now it's about 1am and he still hasn't played my song...so i bum rush the stage steal his microphone and proceed to rip this guy a new one until he promises to play this song. he does...my friend and i dance (read:stumble and fall down) after the completion of the dancing and singing i make my way to the bar for another beer(bc that's what i need at this point) and the bartender hands me three little glasses with pretty blue liquid in them and tells me "you're awesome these are on me" i squeal and pass them around and take my designated shot. DE-LIC-SHUS!!!! i have no idea what was in them but i do know that 15 minutes later is when everything goes blurry and then black.
so this is when my friends had to take over bc i have no idea what happened. we left obviously but i told them i was NOT getting in the truck with them bc they were just as drunk as me(in all reality NO ONE was as drunk as me) so then they bribed me and told me there was booze in the truck...i obliged and hauled ass to the truck for more beers. while in the truck on the way to my friends house we sang very loudly to some 80s song on the radio and i spilled some beer on my face,shirt, and skirt. i get home and my friend, the instigator, and i proceeded to sing karaoke until the wee hours of the morning before finally passing out around 6am.
the next day we woke up and decided to buy matching outfits for the beach, headed to target and started trying on clothes...we decided on matching green plaid pants, striped green bags, big green hats, green medalion necklaces, and green plaid flops. we looked "interesting"
we made our way to the beach but not before stopping to pick up a 24 pack of beer. the rest of the day was fun in the sun drinking beers and making fun of the anorexic "12" year old our friend brought to the beach in hopes of "hitting that"
good times.
and on a more sober note: my love comes home on friday! YAY!!!!!!
time to get back to work.
peace bitches
Kristy J
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Lap Dances, Boners, and Inappropriate Giggling
setting: production desk at work and me trying to think of what to blog about
guy at work: how can you really give a lap dance when a lap is something that doesn't exist?
me:huh? *blank stare with a head tilt*
guy at work: how can you give a lap dance when a lap doesn't exist? *he then stood up to show me what he meant*
me:you always have a lap it's just in a different position...*pause* or do you?
guy at work: see it doesn't exist so you can't give a lap dance
me: so if it's not a lap dance what is it?
guy at work: dry hump
me:it's not a dry hump, you're not doing it back and if you are you will get kicked out
guy at work: that's why i don't go to clubs in virginia
me:*giggling and shaking my head*
**this is what work conversations consist of...only this time no mention of boners..well not in this particular one**
this caused me to lose my train of thought...this is all for today. maybe something later tonite. the drive home usually causes a whirlwind of WTF thoughts in my head.
peace bitches
Kristy J
guy at work: how can you really give a lap dance when a lap is something that doesn't exist?
me:huh? *blank stare with a head tilt*
guy at work: how can you give a lap dance when a lap doesn't exist? *he then stood up to show me what he meant*
me:you always have a lap it's just in a different position...*pause* or do you?
guy at work: see it doesn't exist so you can't give a lap dance
me: so if it's not a lap dance what is it?
guy at work: dry hump
me:it's not a dry hump, you're not doing it back and if you are you will get kicked out
guy at work: that's why i don't go to clubs in virginia
me:*giggling and shaking my head*
**this is what work conversations consist of...only this time no mention of boners..well not in this particular one**
this caused me to lose my train of thought...this is all for today. maybe something later tonite. the drive home usually causes a whirlwind of WTF thoughts in my head.
peace bitches
Kristy J
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Chaz Michael Michaels You Are SO Classy
....not the will ferrell character...my dog's name is chaz michael michaels. i didn't name him...my wonderful boyfriend did. that was the agreement, i could have any kind of dog i wanted aslong as he got to name it....and that's how we ended up with chaz.
moving right along i took chaz to the river on monday afternoon. he loves to chase sticks and jump in the water and i wanted him to try out swimming(he's very good at it and looks adorable doing it) so we're playing fetch for awhile and he's having a ball. i throw the stick he bounces out there to get it and starts swimming back...he stops right as he got to the shore where the water starts(the "surf" if you will) and OF COURSE he stops squats and takes a dump right there in the river! there weren't a lot of people there...thank goodness...but there did happen to be these two little girls andtheir parents about fifty feet from where we were, and she caught site of chaz defecating in the water and proclaims as loud as her voice could go "look mommy the puppy is pooping!" so the whole family looks over at me and immediately they get the children out of the water. i can't get to the poop before it floats away. the mom comes over to me and tells me maybe i should have a little class before i bring my mongrel out into public. i stood up took my sunglasses off and said to her"excuse me?! you're honestly NOT going to stand there and tell me 1)i have no class bc my dog pooped in the water and 2) that one of your "precious" angels has never peed in the ocean/river, yah right! if you have that much of a problem with me and my mongrel then you should leave" and with that i threw the stick back into the water continued to play with my dog. they left shortly after that. i know what you're thinking...i make friends EVERYWHERE i go. ah well...
so all in all i'd say it was a perfectly lovely afternoon!
**so i have 16.5 days until my love comes home from deployment YAY!!!!!!!**
alright i need to walk around before i freeze up here.
peace bitches
Kristy J
moving right along i took chaz to the river on monday afternoon. he loves to chase sticks and jump in the water and i wanted him to try out swimming(he's very good at it and looks adorable doing it) so we're playing fetch for awhile and he's having a ball. i throw the stick he bounces out there to get it and starts swimming back...he stops right as he got to the shore where the water starts(the "surf" if you will) and OF COURSE he stops squats and takes a dump right there in the river! there weren't a lot of people there...thank goodness...but there did happen to be these two little girls andtheir parents about fifty feet from where we were, and she caught site of chaz defecating in the water and proclaims as loud as her voice could go "look mommy the puppy is pooping!" so the whole family looks over at me and immediately they get the children out of the water. i can't get to the poop before it floats away. the mom comes over to me and tells me maybe i should have a little class before i bring my mongrel out into public. i stood up took my sunglasses off and said to her"excuse me?! you're honestly NOT going to stand there and tell me 1)i have no class bc my dog pooped in the water and 2) that one of your "precious" angels has never peed in the ocean/river, yah right! if you have that much of a problem with me and my mongrel then you should leave" and with that i threw the stick back into the water continued to play with my dog. they left shortly after that. i know what you're thinking...i make friends EVERYWHERE i go. ah well...
so all in all i'd say it was a perfectly lovely afternoon!
**so i have 16.5 days until my love comes home from deployment YAY!!!!!!!**
alright i need to walk around before i freeze up here.
peace bitches
Kristy J
Saturday, June 21, 2008
this follows no rhyme or reason-you've been warned
this post will follow no rhyme or reason...it's been a couple of shitty days at work and i've had one(three) too many glasses of wine and well this is what you get:
first of all lis THANK YOU for making me smile with your comment. i was stoked with the compliment. i get a big kick out of your blog too! (seriously read her blog it's great)
second, i completely offended an entire race of people in about three seconds at work today with out even realizing..i'm a JACKASS! here's the story(this might get wordy it takes some background for the full effect) so i work in a cleanroom environment(bunny suit, safety glasses, gloves...the whole nine) and we can only use certain types/colors of pens/markers. the colors are red and black...my opinion not pretty and it gets boring. we had been breaking the rules and using all kinds of colors but they busted us and now it's back to black and red. my friend jeff and i always complain about it bc 1)lame and 2)nothing better to do. today was a LONG and TEDIOUS day of things breaking and going wrong for twelve hours...so it's the end of my shift and i'm just wrapping things up and he leans over and says "no pretty colors" and i immediately shoot back with "black are you kidding me that's not pretty" (side note jeff is a black guy) he just stood there and then coughed and walked off. i am completely oblivious to what happened until my co worker was looked at me with like WTF is your problem and then burst into laughter...of course i was like "huh" and then BAAAAAM! it hit me...WOW I AM A JACKASS WHAT IS MY PROBLEM!! i felt/feel horrible. so needless to say work is going to be interesting(red:awkward) tomorrow at work. oh did i mention like four people at work like me and don't think i'm a bitch? wait make that three...oops my bad i suck!
so another thing...as i was sitting on my couch guzzling riesling tonite i got to thinking about how completely insanely awesome my dog is..i know i know "another crazy dog person" but seriously he's awesome. he's a golden retriever puppy and pretty much the chillest dog ever. oh and he loves wine(i know this by NO fault of my own) AND he knows what glass the wine is in and gets just as about excited as i do when i have some! i left the glass on the table like two months ago and he helped himself to a couple of drinks...now he's hooked. he IS my dog so i guess that's to be expected. the boyfriend doesn't know...SURPRISE! (the boyfriend is on deployment THREE WEEKS and he'll be home...i'm pretty much jumping put of my skin with excitement) *tried to put a picture of chaz we'll see if it works*
moving right along into more rambling for anyone who loves wine like i do...my favorite is riesling..YUMM! but a friend of mine gave me a gewurztraminer and i might say it's delicious. so give it a try and let me know if you like it. it's a sweet wine but seriously!
i also decided what my biggest pet peeve is. it absolutely grates on my nerves when someone tells me i look "tired"! really...who the hell are you to tell me i look tired. you mean absolutely NOTHING why are you speaking to me or even in my general direction especially at 6:45 in the morning. and for some reason people don't understand that telling a girl they look "tired" is a polite way of saying you look like shit. and last time i checked no one liked to be told that. so just for future reference don't say that kind of thing to girls or for that matter ANYONE!
ohk so i think this is getting a little space cadet even for me. i leave you with this:there's always atleast one person that can make you smile when you've had days that the world just opens up and shits all over your day...hold on to that person and appreciate them and let them know how important they are to you. i know that came out of left field but i promise it's good advice.
it's that time
peace bitches
Kristy J
**i have no idea how to put pictures where i want them...but obviously that's my beautiful dog**
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Irritating People Without Even Trying 101
i'm starting to realize how much i irritate people on a daily basis with absolutely no effort whatsoever.
i noticed this yesterday when i went to get myself some delicious chicken from KFC. it was afternoon and bright outside so like normal human beings i had sunglasses on. they aren't the huge audrey hepburn singlasses just kinda oval and very me. i rarely take them off when i run into places(if i'm going shopping or sitting down to eat i'll take them off, if it's a quick in and out bit then no) so i walk in place my order, get my drink, and wait. and i look at the girl getting my food and she's whispering(read:yelling) about the "stuck up blonde bitch with her sunglasses on while she's inside" so i turn around and immediately start giggling. she hands me my food and starts asking me why i'm laughing...i just take my food tell her to have a nice day and as i do it i lifted my sunglasses up and nodded and walked out. ohk so it's kinda dumb but it made me smile. no idea my actions without even trying could actually grate on someone's nerves like that. granted it was a no education 16 year old who is probably supporting her coke habit but still...
onto another subject-the DC trip or shall we call it How to be hammered and still look fabulous!
it was A LOT of fun! the conference was a HUGE let down. i got upset cried a little and decided to crack open the three bottles of deliciously chilled wine in the hotel room...this started at 2pm on saturday afternoon. the three bottles of wine were empty by the time we left for dinner at 5:30pm....this entry will probably go faster if i list it
Top Ten Stupid Things I did/that happened in D.C.
1)drank an entire bottle of wine before my friends got back from the mall that was three blocks from the hotel
2)tipped over a room service tray full of water, hummus, and french fries all over me and my outfit
3)layed in the mess so i could respond to a text message
4)blow dryed my shirt and jeans dry(no hummus got on me just water) so i didn't have to change
5)forced all of the doormen and concierges to take pictures with my friends and i bc "we are f#cking important"
6)got cut off at hard rock at 9p.m.
7)got asked by a group of handicapped women if i had down syndrome
8)busted in on an innocent couple having sex in a bathroom stall while looking for my drunk friend who i thought was having sex in the bathroom stall
9)ordered mcdonalds and devoured a quarter pounder with cheese value meal LARGE and a double cheeseburger
10)drunk dialed my boyfriends family to tell them how much i LOOOVE them and their son/brother
so needless to say i enjoyed myself and at the same time continued to misbehave and make bad decision. WOO go me!
alright it's lunch time...peace bitches
Kristy J
i noticed this yesterday when i went to get myself some delicious chicken from KFC. it was afternoon and bright outside so like normal human beings i had sunglasses on. they aren't the huge audrey hepburn singlasses just kinda oval and very me. i rarely take them off when i run into places(if i'm going shopping or sitting down to eat i'll take them off, if it's a quick in and out bit then no) so i walk in place my order, get my drink, and wait. and i look at the girl getting my food and she's whispering(read:yelling) about the "stuck up blonde bitch with her sunglasses on while she's inside" so i turn around and immediately start giggling. she hands me my food and starts asking me why i'm laughing...i just take my food tell her to have a nice day and as i do it i lifted my sunglasses up and nodded and walked out. ohk so it's kinda dumb but it made me smile. no idea my actions without even trying could actually grate on someone's nerves like that. granted it was a no education 16 year old who is probably supporting her coke habit but still...
onto another subject-the DC trip or shall we call it How to be hammered and still look fabulous!
it was A LOT of fun! the conference was a HUGE let down. i got upset cried a little and decided to crack open the three bottles of deliciously chilled wine in the hotel room...this started at 2pm on saturday afternoon. the three bottles of wine were empty by the time we left for dinner at 5:30pm....this entry will probably go faster if i list it
Top Ten Stupid Things I did/that happened in D.C.
1)drank an entire bottle of wine before my friends got back from the mall that was three blocks from the hotel
2)tipped over a room service tray full of water, hummus, and french fries all over me and my outfit
3)layed in the mess so i could respond to a text message
4)blow dryed my shirt and jeans dry(no hummus got on me just water) so i didn't have to change
5)forced all of the doormen and concierges to take pictures with my friends and i bc "we are f#cking important"
6)got cut off at hard rock at 9p.m.
7)got asked by a group of handicapped women if i had down syndrome
8)busted in on an innocent couple having sex in a bathroom stall while looking for my drunk friend who i thought was having sex in the bathroom stall
9)ordered mcdonalds and devoured a quarter pounder with cheese value meal LARGE and a double cheeseburger
10)drunk dialed my boyfriends family to tell them how much i LOOOVE them and their son/brother
so needless to say i enjoyed myself and at the same time continued to misbehave and make bad decision. WOO go me!
alright it's lunch time...peace bitches
Kristy J
Thursday, June 12, 2008
eventually i'll get my act together
so i've already beautifully demonstrated my lack of ability to keep up with things that i start. this whole blogging thing was super awesome exciting(still is) but everytime i come up with something i want to write, i'm nowhere in the vicinity of a computer. and am clearly realizing i have no writing ability...oh well.
so my days off have been filled with endless amounts of beer and my friend "the instigator" and i misbehaving and making bad decisions.
for some reason after a few(6) pitchers of beer and a free shot from the bartender, it seemed like a good idea to take scandalous(read:drunk and stumbly) pictures on our friend's new truck. they resemble a blur of color and ciggarette smoke. after the "photo shoot" we decided to call random people and insult them on the phone, i know we're highly sophisticated and mature. well i guess it wasn't random people so much as my old boss. he refused to answer the phone and when he finally did answer thought i was calling to ask him to have sex with me. this provoked a full on "wtf are you thinking" conversation that resulted in me hanging up on him. the instigator called right back and left a message telling him his girlfriend was so ugly she wouldn't let her dog pee on him. the girlfriend gets mad and calls her back...we weren't sure who it was and loudly proclaim that she sounded like a man(which in our defense was completely true)..immediately followed by laughter and the girlfriend yelling long strings of obscene words at us then hanging up.
after we finished the harrassment part of the evening we retired to the back yard to chug more miller lite and smoke ciggarettes.
all in all i'd say it was a damn good night
later on we found out that her roommate tried to sleep with her mom..but that's a story for another time or not at all. it's gets a little ridiculous from there.
so i've recapped...
things in store for this weekend
the washington dc trip!! YEAIE! i'm stoked! there's three of us going...me, my friend meg, and other friend amy. we got a pretty BA hotel in the ritzy schmoozy part of dc. should be a good time full of more misbehaving and bad decision making.
alright well it's time for the peace the fuck out at work soon..
peace bitches
Kristy J
so my days off have been filled with endless amounts of beer and my friend "the instigator" and i misbehaving and making bad decisions.
for some reason after a few(6) pitchers of beer and a free shot from the bartender, it seemed like a good idea to take scandalous(read:drunk and stumbly) pictures on our friend's new truck. they resemble a blur of color and ciggarette smoke. after the "photo shoot" we decided to call random people and insult them on the phone, i know we're highly sophisticated and mature. well i guess it wasn't random people so much as my old boss. he refused to answer the phone and when he finally did answer thought i was calling to ask him to have sex with me. this provoked a full on "wtf are you thinking" conversation that resulted in me hanging up on him. the instigator called right back and left a message telling him his girlfriend was so ugly she wouldn't let her dog pee on him. the girlfriend gets mad and calls her back...we weren't sure who it was and loudly proclaim that she sounded like a man(which in our defense was completely true)..immediately followed by laughter and the girlfriend yelling long strings of obscene words at us then hanging up.
after we finished the harrassment part of the evening we retired to the back yard to chug more miller lite and smoke ciggarettes.
all in all i'd say it was a damn good night
later on we found out that her roommate tried to sleep with her mom..but that's a story for another time or not at all. it's gets a little ridiculous from there.
so i've recapped...
things in store for this weekend
the washington dc trip!! YEAIE! i'm stoked! there's three of us going...me, my friend meg, and other friend amy. we got a pretty BA hotel in the ritzy schmoozy part of dc. should be a good time full of more misbehaving and bad decision making.
alright well it's time for the peace the fuck out at work soon..
peace bitches
Kristy J
Saturday, June 7, 2008
the joys of starting something new...
so i've been randomly stopping by people's blogs that i found on jen lancaster's blog...gotta say it was a fun trip. then i realized i should actually post a blog instead of just commenting...and besides i eventually want some of those people to comment my blog and i don't think you can comment an empty page.
so here goes(never done this before)
a little about yours truly:
->i'm a hard core procrastinator(hence blogging instead of paying attention to the things i should be training on at work)
->definitely have some form of ADD or just an incredibly small attention span but it does make for interesting phone conversations
->my dog is definitely my best friend(i moved away from my friends after the navy for a new job) now i live in what pretty much could be defined as a large retirement home, nothing but old people and complete with stuck up rich kids. soo my dog and i hang out a lot.
->i have a great boyfriend who keeps me on my toes with his endless amount of sarcasm and never ending adventures for us to go on, he's also super sweet(he at this moment is on a deployment in the navy..hence my dog being my best friend)
->i am by NO means whatsoever a writer. i don't have the flow of the words or ways to make them sound neat but i do have a lot of chaotic weirdly interesting and definitely entertaining thoughts running around inside of my blonde coiffed head.
->i'm deeply sarcastic and very rarely keep my mouth shut even unfortunately if it means offending someone...with that said if i say something on here that offends you...my bad don't come back.
->i love shopping and shoes and lunching with the girls and mani/pedis and champagne brunches or wine tastings or basically any excuse whatsoever to drink wine or champagne, huge fan of girlie movies and gossiping for endless amounts of time throughout my day
->also love chugging beer and playing beer pong, the occasional(ohk constant flow) of dirty obscene jokes, i drop a lot of F bombs, pretty much get treated like one of the guys...with a nicer rack and better nails of course
->i have a geek job that i don't fit in with but the people are pretty cool so we get along. the conversations at work...lord that's a whole nother blog.
->i over analyze everything and consider myself a perfectionist
->the beach is where it's at(eventhough i loathe ocean water and sand on my body)
->i won't always make my blogs in the form of lists
->this is getting a little ridiculous
->i think you get the idea of who i am and a little of what i am about
sooo
peace bitches
Kristy J
so here goes(never done this before)
a little about yours truly:
->i'm a hard core procrastinator(hence blogging instead of paying attention to the things i should be training on at work)
->definitely have some form of ADD or just an incredibly small attention span but it does make for interesting phone conversations
->my dog is definitely my best friend(i moved away from my friends after the navy for a new job) now i live in what pretty much could be defined as a large retirement home, nothing but old people and complete with stuck up rich kids. soo my dog and i hang out a lot.
->i have a great boyfriend who keeps me on my toes with his endless amount of sarcasm and never ending adventures for us to go on, he's also super sweet(he at this moment is on a deployment in the navy..hence my dog being my best friend)
->i am by NO means whatsoever a writer. i don't have the flow of the words or ways to make them sound neat but i do have a lot of chaotic weirdly interesting and definitely entertaining thoughts running around inside of my blonde coiffed head.
->i'm deeply sarcastic and very rarely keep my mouth shut even unfortunately if it means offending someone...with that said if i say something on here that offends you...my bad don't come back.
->i love shopping and shoes and lunching with the girls and mani/pedis and champagne brunches or wine tastings or basically any excuse whatsoever to drink wine or champagne, huge fan of girlie movies and gossiping for endless amounts of time throughout my day
->also love chugging beer and playing beer pong, the occasional(ohk constant flow) of dirty obscene jokes, i drop a lot of F bombs, pretty much get treated like one of the guys...with a nicer rack and better nails of course
->i have a geek job that i don't fit in with but the people are pretty cool so we get along. the conversations at work...lord that's a whole nother blog.
->i over analyze everything and consider myself a perfectionist
->the beach is where it's at(eventhough i loathe ocean water and sand on my body)
->i won't always make my blogs in the form of lists
->this is getting a little ridiculous
->i think you get the idea of who i am and a little of what i am about
sooo
peace bitches
Kristy J
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